Responsibility for Our Emotions
By admin | March 10, 2010
Proverbs 17:28 “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”
 We are responsible for our emotions. If we get angry, our response is OUR response. Nobody made us angry and nobody made us open our mouth. If we lose our temper, it’s our responsibility. When someone dies, we are responsible for how we manage our grief. If we are joyous, we are responsible for whom we share that joy with and how we share it. The first time Averette was expecting, I shared the news prematurely concerning that joy. It was not solely my joy to share. If we get frustrated about a situation we can’t control, how we react is our responsibility. If we see a new show about Haiti and have compassion for those people, then we choose to act on our emotion or not.Our culture struggles with responsibility. As a school administrator, my wife shares with me the fact that parents don’t want any responsibility for their children’s education. I have witnessed myself parents not being responsible for what their young children do. As senior pastor, I am responsible for many things that happen at Cokesbury. The staff at this church each has his or her responsibility. The congregation has responsibility as well. In life, we must all assume our roles of responsibility. I feel responsibility in how I handle the talents and abilities that God has given me. I chose to write exclusively for God. That is my choice regarding my talent and I am responsible for the things that I write. There are others who share some of that responsibility…my secretary, Shirley, and the various proof-readers. Ultimately, my name is on the top of the e-mail and I am responsible for the content. We are each responsible for the content of our lives. In the matter of our emotions, we must assume healthy responsibility. Our emotional well-being is in our own hands. When I was eighteen, my high school sweetheart broke up with me. I wanted to get even with her. I wanted to hurt her. Many scenarios went through my mind. Ultimately, however, I decided that if I did something irresponsible, it would adversely affect my life. I realized I was hurt, but I did not want to compound that hurt by doing something irresponsible that would have ramifications solely in my life. It is much better to handle our emotions responsibly than allowing our emotions to run wild and undisciplined. In the end, we are responsible for how we vent our emotions and what we do with the time we’ve been given. Prayer: Dear God, help us to be responsible for our emotions. Amen |
Topics: The "Emotion" Series | No Comments »
Sadness Defined
By admin | March 9, 2010
John 11:35 “He wept.”
 We can surmise that Jesus was sad many times. After Lazarus had died, and Jesus saw both sisters, Mary and Martha, He went to the tomb where Lazarus was buried. As the Bible says in John 11:35, “Jesus wept.” We’re not sure why Jesus wept; perhaps it was because everyone was sad at Lazarus’s death, or maybe it was because Lazarus would be brought back from heaven. But, we do know Jesus cried at that time. Jesus cried again in Luke 19 when He prophesied that someday Jerusalem would be destroyed. Probably the best known text of Jesus’ sadness was in Gethsemane after the Last Supper when, in anguish, He prayed to be released from the cross.Sadness is part of the human experience. It is defined as an emotion characterized by feelings of disadvantage, loss and helplessness. We might be sad when we experience the loss of health, material possessions, our reputation or the respect of others. Human beings are sad when they are separated from the ones they love. Babies cry when separated from those who primarily care for them. Sadness may be a sign for growth. Sometimes God uses sadness to spur us towards a happier situation. Perhaps we are unhappy at work. God may be using that unhappiness to force us to seek other employment opportunities. If you’ve ever lived in a family where a child is approaching eighteen years of age, many times that child makes their parents sad in his or her need for independence. It is nature’s way of getting everyone ready for a change. While sadness may be stressful, perhaps it is necessary for growth. In our culture, we try to run away from sadness. The weeks between the time that I ended my ministry at my previous church and began my ministry at Cokesbury were a sad time. I was leaving what I knew to begin what I didn’t know. I knew that the healthiest thing for me to do was experience the sadness. The sadness became integrated into my life and I appreciate that it made me stronger. We try to block sadness, but as Carl Jung said, “The word ‘happiness’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” We cannot find happiness and appreciate it until we go through times of sadness. I deeply appreciate that Jesus experienced sadness. His understanding of my sadness helps me to know that He understands. As we move towards Easter, we must remember that the sadness His disciples felt and the sadness He felt at leaving His disciples was small in comparison to the joy and happiness He felt at His new resurrected life and they felt as they gained understanding of the Resurrection. Prayer: Dear God, help us to seek to understand our sadness. Amen |
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A Tragedy
By admin | March 8, 2010
John 21:19 “ ….. Follow me!”
One morning a few years ago, I was running through Timbercreek with Paul Davis. Paul and I had run together for many years and shared many experiences. Most of our experiences were fun and happy. Occasionally we shared a heartbreak. I want to tell you about a heartsick experience.  We were running through Paul’s neighborhood back when a man in a white mini-van asked, “Have you seen a small dog? If you see him this is my address.” He drove away towards the next cul-de-sac. Obviously, he was methodically searching for his pet. We ran slightly further when we heard a small dog bark about a block behind us. Paul and I turned back hoping the dog would come towards us when another car pulled out of the cul-de-sac behind us, driving slowly. Tragically, he ran over the dog. We could hear the bones crush and the cry of the poor creature. The driver of a white sedan pulled up to us and asked, “What did I do?” I told him, “Someone had come looking for his dog and I believe you just hit it.” Even though it was dark, the light from the car instruments showed compassion and sorrow on the face of the driver. He put his head on the steering wheel for a moment. I looked up and saw the white mini-van coming down the cul-de-sac ahead. I ran ahead to catch the man. When he stopped, I said, “I’m sorry. I believe this man parked in the street, unfortunately, just hit your dog.” The dog’s owner looked heart broken as I told him what happened. After both men had stopped their cars, they walked back to the dog. I think about the driver of the car and, in my heart, remember his pain over his inadvertent act. In my heart, I see his face in the light of the dash as he put his head down on the steering wheel. He didn’t mean to do it. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He said he couldn’t see the dog in the early morning fog and I knew from the dog’s bark he was small. Unfortunately, we all inadvertently hurt others. It is never our intention or desire as Christians to hurt others, but inadvertently, we do sometimes cause their hurt. There is nothing we can do to change that fact because sometimes there is nothing to be done. When Jesus met Peter again at the Sea of Galilee after His crucifixion, there was this conversation and from my reading, a reconciliation. Jesus looked at Peter and said, “Follow me.” I think when we find we have hurt someone or been in a situation similar to that of the man driving the white sedan, the only answer is for us to more carefully follow Jesus and strive all the more to never inadvertently hurt anyone. Sometimes in life, there is nothing to be done, but cry, apologize, dry our eyes, and go on. Prayer: Dear God, help me with my life. Amen |
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The Good and the Ugly
By admin | March 6, 2010
Galatians 6:7 “A person reaps what he sows.”
 Jesus says, “Those who live by the sword die by the sword.” There is this great truth that we become what we practice. Proverbs has this wonderful quote, “There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace.” That speaks to our hearts today about what should be the action of our lives. Sister Melanie Sue was a “widow woman” of a long dead but beloved preacher who used to live in Gainesville. She had moved to the old Freeman place and lived there quietly with an unmarried niece. Her husband had been a good man and she truly was a saintly woman. Sister Melanie Sue never gossiped. If anyone ever said anything that was the least bit negative, she would always point out ten good things about the person. She spent her days thinking of ways she could help other people. If anyone was in need, she would take from the little bit she had and give to them. She commonly would come and ask my grandfather for help for various people. He always told me, “Whatever Sister Melanie Sue asks, I will do.” I questioned that statement one day. I asked him why and he said, “If she gets to heaven before I do, I want her to put in a good word for me. I know the Lord will listen to her; she is a good-hearted woman.” Miz’ Mizell had a little more money than everybody else. She never helped anybody. She never said anything good about anybody behind their back and seldom said anything good of them to their face. She was pretentious, arrogant, inconsiderate, selfish, stingy, uncooperative, and vicious. I can remember one time in the feed store my grandmother taking us out the back door so we didn’t have to speak to her. My grandfather was on the board at Liberty Methodist Church in Cronicville and she wanted to run off every preacher they ever had at that little church. Miz’ Mizell didn’t like little boys which, unfortunately, I was. I remember one time when she went to my grandfather and Joey’s father and told them an ugly untruth about us because she had confused us with two other boys in the community. My grandfather said to her, “Miz’ Mizell, there is just no cause in you being so mean and spiteful to these two little boys!” I remember going to both of those women’s funerals. Miss Melanie Sue was a poor woman who had nothing, but she brought so much joy to the lives of others and they brought her joy as well. At Miz’ Mizell’s funeral, people didn’t even want to sing the hymns. It’s important to be a person that people love by doing loving, good things. When Miz’ Mizell died, my grandfather said everybody came just to make sure she was dead. Grandmother said, “I’ve never seen so many people looking so grim in my life; they were thinking about the ugly things she had done to them.” The Proverb was right, “There is deceit in those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace.” The people who do the kind things and who have good hearts are the ones who bless the world. There is only good riddance and pity for those who are bent on ugliness. Prayer: Dear God, help me to be saintly. Amen. |
Topics: The Joy Factor Series | No Comments »
The Joy of Completion
By admin | March 5, 2010
Matthew 28:8 “So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and they ran to tell the disciples.”
 When Anna Camille was in high school, she was a part of the cast of the musical, Oklahoma. She had learned her lines, her costume was ready, she could sing her solos, and she was prepared. As her father, I wondered if she enjoyed kissing her love interest in the play. Interestingly enough, he also was her date to the prom. When the last performance was over, she and the rest of the cast had accomplished the task. As the Bible would phrase it “the time was fulfilled.” The Bible uses the word “joy” when it speaks about the fulfillment of certain events. In Luke 1:14 God speaks to Zechariah and tells him that his son “will be a joy and a delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth.” Mary heard the angel say as he announced her pregnancy, “Do not be afraid for I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people.” At the birth of Jesus, the angels sang for joy. There was joy at Jesus’ baptism. He felt joy at his transfiguration and at the resurrection. Jesus told his disciples that after their grief of his death, they would find joy. When the women felt they would find Jesus dead, battered, and his body decomposing, and instead found the empty tomb, they were “filled with joy.” In our lives certain joyous events are accomplished. When a pregnancy comes to an end and a baby is born, there is a sense of great joy at the accomplishment of the birth. This spring many will be filled with joy as they graduate from preschool, kindergarten, middle school, high school, college, and graduate school. The time of retirement is a time of joyfully fulfilling your responsibility at work. As I finish writing a devotional or a sermon, I feel a sense of joy at that task. In our lives, the accomplishment of certain tasks brings us joy. In the completing of simple tasks or milestones in our lives, the joy of accomplishment is a great deal more joyous if we put our best in everything we have to accomplish. Our work life will be finished some day and our children grown; all things in this life come to an end. There will come a time when we will hang up the tennis shoes, the golf clubs, or the tennis rackets and that will be over. It is important that we find joy along the journey, not just at the end. It is the journey that has great significance. We focus on the finish line most of the time. When the baby is born, the children are grown, we retire, etc. If we always focus on the end, we will never enjoy the living that is in between. God has joy for us everyday. Let’s not miss it. Prayer: Dear God, as I live my life help me to find joy in living every day and joy in completing the events of my life. Amen. |
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A Day of Joy
By admin | March 4, 2010
John 2:1-2 “On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in
Much of life is very routine: fifty weeks of work for two weeks of vacation, constantly cleaning the house, cleaning the car, doing laundry, and preparing meals. It is important that we achieve the mundane so that our lives function. Every now and then, however, there are times of celebration such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, and July 4. It is fun to celebrate holidays and birthdays. Every now and then we need to take a break from the routine and just joyously celebrate life.  One of my favorite movies is “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” The movie is about a young man who, along with his friends during his senior year, takes a spring holiday away from school. One of my favorite quotes from that movie is, “Life goes by pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” It’s true! Sometimes you have to stop your routines in life and just enjoy living. How great would it be to really enjoy celebrating the happy events of life? It is important to plan for times when we remember, celebrate, and look ahead. There is much about life that is routine and mundane. Many years of service work and repetitive tasks open to rare times of celebrating. Our Lord began his career by going to the wedding at Cana of Galilee and celebrating with His family. In the wedding that day with the breezes blowing and the Sea of Galilee at a distance, Jesus teased His mother and enjoyed His friends. Even before He began His important ministry, He celebrated. This story is remembered in the United Methodist wedding ritual and happily told at every wedding. It is tragic to miss being happy when we have the chance. It is my nature to work and be routine. In doing that, I have sometimes missed opportunities to just smile and enjoy life and people. I think about my life and it seems to be at a juncture. I wonder, for me, if this is not a time to just begin being joyous and celebrating being with people I love. I have had so much to do, raising my children and serving in churches. I hope this is a change of seasons when I can enjoy just particularly being with the people in my congregation and loving them as they have loved me. I believe it is a time in my life to just enjoy dating Averette again and rediscovering all the reasons we fell in love in the first place. Maybe celebrating is something we should do all along! Diligence in life is truly important. Stressing ourselves out over living robs us of the chance to find true joy. Prayer: Dear God, help me to find joy. Amen. |
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Happiness Has Nothing To Do With Fairness
By admin | March 3, 2010
Matthew 20:1 “ The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner…”
 Jesus tells this wonderful story in chapter 20 of Matthew’s gospel. The point of the story illustrates what the Kingdom of Heaven is like. The main issue of the story is people come to God in all kinds of times and ways. There are those who come as children, as I did, and work in God’s vineyard forever. There are those who come on their proverbial deathbed and the reward is the same: admission into heaven.The story went like this: A landowner went out to hire people to work at the harvest. Every day people stood at the marketplace awaiting work. Some of them stood from early in the morning until late in the evening. They knew what every farmer knows that there are certain times that you have to harvest the crops because of impending rain or other issues that would mean the crops would be destroyed. So, laborers would wait all day even to the end of the day in hopes that some desparate farmer would hire them. That particular day, the vineyard owner went at sunrise, about 6:00 a.m., to hire men to work. He said he would pay them a certain amount. This same vineyard owner went at 9:00 am, mid-day, and again at 5:00 pm to hire workers at the same price. At the end of the day when the harvest was gathered, the foreman called everyone in to receive their wages, the last one going first. To those he hired last, he gave a denarius or a day’s wage. Each succeeding set of workers was paid exactly the same. 
As we might expect, the workers who had been there from sunrise began to grumble about the unfairness of the vineyard owner. “But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’” |
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The Circle of Life
By admin | March 2, 2010
Proverbs 22:6 “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
 People always talk about their children being the joy of their lives. I love my children, but I thought I was going to lose my mind raising them. However, I’ve come to see and value that, most of the time if you hang in there with them, life does come out okay. I hear Disney’s song, “The Circle of Life,” echoing in my heart.When Caroline was born, she was my buddy. I love little children and I had so wanted to have a little girl as my first child. I wanted her to be just like Averette. Caroline and I went everywhere together. I was serving a small church when she was born and the people wanted me to bring her to church all the time. She went to worship with us and was passed from one lady to the next. When we went to First Methodist in Montgomery, Caroline wore all the smocked dresses my mother made and was the perfect child. We spent hours playing and she molded the kind of parent I would be. The bane of Caroline’s existence was Christina who was born three and a-half years after Caroline’s birth. Sometimes, like Averette and I, opposites attract. Sometimes opposites clash. Christina and Caroline were and have always been total opposites. The best way I know how to explain this is it was always like Saturday night at the fights. They fought over E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! Caroline was totally offended by Christina and she could not believe that this human being was in any way related to her. Still, Caroline and I remained really close and Averette truly bonded with Christina. Averette and I had tried to have a third child and were not blessed. She decided to get her master’s degree and then begin teaching. She had been a stay-at-home mom for the two older girls when they were young. The way life always is that when you least expect it, “Surprise!” In the midst of Averette’s pursuit of her master’s, we discovered that Averette was expecting our much beloved third child, Anna Camille. By the time Anna Camille was born, my former church had really started to grow and Averette was involved in her career. Caroline was a second mother and helped with diapers and feeding and everything involving Anna Camille. She was wonderful. Then came thirteen…! I remember looking at Caroline one day and saying, “Who are you? It’s like an alien has invaded your body.” Christina piped up, “Daddy, she’s always been a weird alien. You just didn’t see it.” Caroline stopped speaking to people in the church and she looked at them at though they had two heads. If Averette and I asked her to do something, you could bet she wouldn’t do it. If there was a hard way and an easy way, Caroline would choose the hard way. She fell in love with a much older boy who had bleached blonde hair and earrings, and the people of the church were appalled. Our relationship suffered and was, for many years, strained. She acted like I was the dumbest human being in the world. The other day, I realized that Caroline has grown to be a wonderful human being. She asked me to help her as she looked for her first house to buy. We have had many conversations about that purchase. I’ve been proud of the way she got her master’s degree and worked at the same time. She is very committed in her profession to helping those who suffer with mental illness. It’s almost like all those years didn’t happen,… the circle of life. She is a great joy in my life. She is not just my daughter, but also my friend. Perhaps, after all, rearing your children gives you great joy and happiness once Saturday night at the fights has concluded. Prayer: Dear Lord, help us find joy in the circle of life. Amen. |
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The Integrity of Faith in Christ
By admin | March 1, 2010
Acts 4:12 “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”
 Loretta Lynn used to sing “If you’re lookin’ at country, you’re lookin’ at me.” If you’re lookin’ at Methodists, you’re lookin’ at me. My parents joined Dauphin Way Methodist Church when I was a month old; I was baptized at four months old; I felt Jesus’ call in my life just before Confirmation and accepted Him as my Lord and Savior during that process. I was an acolyte as a child, went to Blue Lake the first time as a fourth grader. I did every camp you could do every year all through high school. I experienced a camp about civil rights as a teenager with an African-American roommate and a boy from Selma. I got in trouble at sophomore assembly which was at Huntingdon College when I jumped out of the dorm to go running at 12:30 am. I studied at the Methodist center and discovered that the United Methodist Church was lobbying against the war in Vietnam and other national issues. I went to religious school and Emory Theology School.When I married, I married a girl who was equally Methodist to me. Averette grew up in Dothan and was a member at First Methodist Church of Dothan. She, too, did all the camps. We met at church. Both of us came from strong families of active Methodists. My grandparents did everything in their small country church. Averette’s grandfather was an active lay person in the Conference and helped establish the Alabama-West Florida Foundation. Averette was working at Camp Blue Lake the summer we became engaged and I told her daddy I was going to marry her at Inspiration Point at Blue Lake at Camp Pinewood. My children, like me, were baptized at four months old, experienced God’s call in their lives at Confirmation. Caroline graduated from Birmingham Southern, Christina from Millsaps College, and Anna Camille is a student at Huntingdon - all United Methodist schools. Christina is about to graduate from theology school at Emory and take an appointment in the Alabama-West Florida Conference. Averette and I, as a couple, have invested our lives in churches within the bounds of the Alabama-West Florida Conference and have financially supported the United Methodist Church. If you’re lookin’ at Methodists, you’re lookin’ at us. I truly love the United Methodist Church and one of the things that has blessed me the most is my service to the Lord as a United Methodist minister. However, my first loyalty is to Christ. As much as I love the United Methodist Church, I love Christ more. If I ever had to make a choice, I would choose the integrity of my faith over anything else. Jesus was a great Jew. Yet, He recognized that the temple had become falsely religious, and not faithful to God. He love to worship, and the so-called religious leaders had destroyed true worship. St. Paul, as he established the Church, faced many conflicts with the advent of Christianity as compared to the false religion and the obsessive rules of the Scribes and Pharisees. I always tell the staff, “Follow me, unless I ask you to do something that is unethical, immoral, or illegal.” We all have to be true to our faith in Jesus Christ. Even though Averette and I truly believe in the United Methodist Church, we believe more in the cause of Christ. If the Methodist Church asked us to do something that compromised our faith, we would not yield as our true allegiance is to our Lord. Never compromise your faith in God for anything. Prayer: Dear Lord, help us to handle our emotions through the teachings of the Scriptures and the teachings of the church. Amen. |
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The Sacrifice of Love
By admin | February 27, 2010
I wonder - is love “love” without sacrifice? Perhaps, love begins like flowers on a summer’s day. However, it never ends like that. When I first met Averette, I basked in her presence. She would bat her eyes at me and everything was wonderful. Eventually, however, I began a long road of sacrifice for this other human being that I loved. I was immediately captivated by my children as I saw them just after they were born. Before they were twenty-one, I had changed mountains of diapers, helped with hours of homework, gone to a zillion ballet recitals, paid for braces, cars, and college. There’s never been a friendship that was true without sacrifice. Although I am compensated as a minister, my churches have always meant personal sacrifice as part of the compensation package.
possibly grasp. We live out the sacrifices that He calls us to make. I wonder…is love “love” without sacrifice? The smitten love is nothing but a pretty memory if that’s when we walk away. If I left any of my children in labor and delivery and never made sacrifices for them again, though I might say I love them, they could, perhaps, years later question whether that was love or not. A friendship that’s only for fair weather is only an acquaintanceship. A faith in God without sacrificial love is not faith at all. I do not believe that love is love without great sacrifice. Great love sacrifices without resentment. All love that is love costs something. Love for humanity cost God His Son and Christ His life. It cost us each, as believers, something in response to the sacrifice of God. What is the price of your sacrifice?Topics: The "Emotion" Series | No Comments »
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