When Dreams Become Nightmares
Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that he is god.”
 A couple of weeks ago, Dusty Fisher helped me take one of the beds from the apartment back to the house on the Eastern Shore. When Dusty saw the house, he talked about how beautiful it was. I told him that it had been a dream house that, for me, had become a nightmare.When we purchased the house, we purchased it as an investment. It was a dream home for me and Averette. When we purchased it, we furnished it with our family furniture. Everything looked so beautiful. My paintings and books all looked their best in the setting in that house.  At the time we bought the house, we believed we would live on the Eastern Shore for the rest of our lives. I felt that the church had made a long-term commitment to me and were grateful for my leadership. We had a considerable amount of bank stock that we felt was secure. That stock paid dividends that helped us pay for the house and college for our girls. Perhaps no one in America really expected the economy to turn as it did. Our stock became virtually worthless. Through various circumstances, I moved to Florida and began a new ministry at Cokesbury. The house on Eastern Shore did not sell and I needed a new place of residence at my new church. The dream house became a nightmare. It was a huge adjustment to move from a 4200 square foot house to a small apartment. However, all these months later, I have come to better appreciate much about my life. My relationship with God is better. I believe I’m a better pastor and preacher than I was before this difficulty. My relationships are stronger. My relationships with God, my wife, and family are closer. I even believe that I write and paint more effectively. The truth is, in life at various points, dreams can become nightmares. Sometimes it happens with jobs we think are secure or in our relationships with others that we think will last forever. It can happen in any of a thousand ways. When dreams become nightmares, we can find nobility in living. We were meant to be in relationship with God and find our security in Him. Although our relationships can add to our lives, our relationship with ourself often colors our inability to be in relationship with other human beings. If we do not have purpose and meaning in our lives as individuals, we cannot expect others to give to us what only we can find on our own. In my life alone in the apartment, I found a new sense of myself. I certainly miss Averette and I not living together every day. Yet, it is important that someone live in the house and her job is closer there. As two very busy professionals, occasionally we’ll call each others answering machine and say, “I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.” Even apart, our relationship has grown. I found great simple pleasure in my off-time in writing and painting and playing with my dog. I have enjoyed greatly getting to know my new congregation. I believe God is with us in whatever circumstance. We are not guaranteed that all our dreams will remain dreamy. Some dreams become nightmares. Yet, we know that even in the nightmares of life, there is purpose and meaning to be found. I trust in God to work all the details of my life and I know whether the hue of life is bright pastels or darkest dark, God is there. He guides us in all things if we keep our hearts open to His guidance. Prayer: Dear God, help us to trust you when dreams become nightmares. Amen. |